Demystifying Feminism

So much hoopla about womanhood, feminism, and what’s right or wrong, extreme or mild versions of it, am suddenly feeling a urge to clarify my views on this topic. Quite bizarrestrangoweird that it never crossed my mind all these 50 odd donkey’s years of life, to actually think of what being a woman meant to me, leave alone write about it. Anyways, let me just sit down and make an attempt to clear all the muck and mud surrounding this mess, and give my own spin.

As simple as that.

What goes for the goose goes for the gander. Except, what both genders physiologically can and can’t do- pregnancy and childbirth, hormones, work that involves upper body strength etc. Even the latter is kind of debatable, with sports being a levelling field right now — yes, that was meant to be “punny” :-)

Anything else that is possible for both genders, like education, work, choosing a life partner, staying at home to take care of kids, should be offered as a choice to both. It’s such a myth that women are the ones hard wired and that men can’t take care of babies. And, a huge insult to so many fathers who do a great job of it. If you’re aware of the options available for you and no one is forcing you to do one way or the other — and yet, if doing a what is considered a stereotypical role or job is your choice — I say just go for it.

My answer may not be satisfactory, but it is painfully the truth. Men have evolved in a patriarchal mindset for millions of years, and all this talk about equality have only emerged in the last century or so. Fighting is mandatory, but bashing will not get us anywhere, and accepting will not allow us to progress. Is it frustrating to do this? Huge Yes. But, working towards an ideal is what we need and ought to do.

Start with the men around you- fathers, brothers, spouses, bosses, co-workers, sons, neighbors. Engage in healthy debates. Educate them on how it feels from our side. A simple question of “If you were me, would you do this? Or, why can’t I do what you’re doing?” can sometimes plant seeds of revolution.

Painfully aware of sitting in a country like India where the female foetus gets aborted before even it’s formed, girls getting raped at schools and outside, women getting abused at home and workplace, mothers being forced to give up their careers to take care of families. Am talking about the majority of the male population whom you meet everyday, and not rapists, pedophiles or the perverted lot.

I come from a place of belief that all of us are a “work in progress” towards betterment of the society. And, empowering ourselves and the opposite gender are crucial components to this process.

In fact, not just men. Let me include women too. Patriarchy is too big an institution for men alone to hold up. A lot of times, women do the worst stereotyping to other women. I don’t get it too, but it’s sadly true.

Everybody is a product of their ancestors, family tree and society they’re a part of. If we don’t accept ourselves as this output of our own place in the evolutionary time line (because let’s face it -You can’t change it any ways) and start our work to grow as an individual from this point onwards, we can’t understand anything at all. Not just gender, but our context as humans as a whole. It gets a lot complex to understand how societies have grown and the historical background, but, shouldn’t we start getting curious on how we landed up in the place we have? Am no expert in this area, but to me this seems to be the logical beginning to know ourselves a bit more than what’s handed to us.

Getting back to the Equality debate.

If you notice, except for our physical traits which may place limitations, beyond that point, honestly believe that it’s important that an individual’s rights takes over. That is what should be nurtured, groomed and polished.

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