These 5 things make you look like an asshat in an interview

“Thanks for coming in and wasting everyone’s time — you asshat!”

These five things will permanently etch your name in the pantheon of ineptitude at Company X for years to come. You’ll become the standard for which all subsequent interviews will be measured against.

#5. Pretending to know something and muddling through a dipshit answer.

How to remedy: It’s okay to say you don’t know! Most people don’t know everything. The others are Ken Jennings and IBM Watson.

#4. Not answering the question that was asked.

Look, I get it, we get nervous interviewing, and it’s really hard to listen and think clearly when we’re nervous, but for the love of Zeus, nothing is more painful (besides having babies or catching your scrotum on a barbed wire fence) than having to re-ask a question you need an answer to.

How to remedy: Slow down and listen. It’s okay to pause before answering. It shows thoughtfulness.

#3. Asking, first question, what the vacation and sick leave policies are.

Your first questions should be about the job, maybe even about the company, or the direction management is taking things, possibly even thoughtful inquires about your potential coworkers and the company culture.

BUT, if you’re asking me how much you don’t have to be here, first question, I don’t want your lazy ass in the position. I already have enough dead weight to sink the Titanic.

How to remedy: Don’t ask this question until the offer comes your way. You may then negotiate more vacation or sick leave if that’s what you’re after. That’s totally legit and normal.

I have buddies who have given up a little pay to get more time off. Solid approach coming into a new company. And here’s a secret, if we really want you, sometimes…

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