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The Importance of Knowing Oneself and 3 Ways to Do So

This quote is pretty famous and is great advice.

However, there is a more important 6th person.

One that is crucial in our lives. Yet, one we never pay any attention too.

Ourselves.

You must be wondering what I am talking about. Puzzled even.

What do you mean spend time with yourself? I am with myself every moment of my existence!

Are you?

Besides the 10 minute meditations (I am assuming and hoping you do them.), do you really spend time with yourself?

Do you know your passions? Your dreams?

What about what makes you happy?

Why does it make you happy?

What makes you irritated? Why?

How much pain can you take? How long can you run?

How much can you drink? Why are you in pain? Why are you doing what you are doing with your life?

What are your short-term goals? Long-term goals? What is important to you?

What are your life principles?

Of course we don’t know! Would you know the deep believes or life principles of your coworker ? I doubt you even know his spouse’s name.

I took a one of the famous 7 Habits Course set up by Franklin Covey. During the course, the participants were asked to do a mission statement. Then write it down.

I was astounded, my principles? I didn't have any at that time. But I wasn't the only one, the other participants were just as confused as I was. In the end, we just scribbled down something acceptable.

Why couldn't we write down anything meaningful?

It was because we never spent time getting to know ourselves. Guiding life principles are important and we would never have been able to make them up in the 15 minutes given.

Imagine if we did. 15 minutes, the time it takes for you to finish a Big Mac, is the time for you to think, write, and follow the principles that will guide your life. Your life principles would have the same value of a Big Mac.

Vague advice is a pain. Spending time with oneself? What do I do? How do I do that? No worries, below are the 3 methods I used to get to know myself better.

In the self improvement department for social skills, one of the habits advocated by many is the skill of active listening. The more we focus on the meaning the opposite party is attempting to convey, the more we understand them and be loved by them.

If active listening to other people is such an important skill, what about listening to ourselves?

This can be holding a conversation with yourself, or just letting your innermost thoughts out.

As you learn more about yourself and go deeper into the recesses of your mind, painful memories or thoughts might come about, or it could be something that your rational mind has been denying. Learn to acknowledged them and notice the signals your body, mind and heart is sending you.

And yes, it will seem counterintuitive at first. Why waste time doing nothing but listening to yourself? The simple answer to that question is…

While living, our minds and bodies are constantly being bombarded with external inputs via our 5 senses. Consciously take control and add some high quality inputs to your life.

Like reading

Oh no, not another piece of advice asking me to read!

Unfortunately, yes, reading is one of the best ways to obtain high quality input into your life.

Nevertheless, it isn't the only way. Inputs can be obtained anywhere and anytime. Videos, conferences, speeches, exploring nature, even noticing an event while walking to work are all considered inputs. Try to expose yourself to as many high-quality inputs as possible.

Then take notice of anything that resonates with you. This is the important part.

Resonance does not mean interest. Interest is something that catches your attention. You might go, “Oh, that’s cool.” That is not what resonating is.

Resonance strike you deep down. It heads straight towards the unconscious thoughts or problems you are already holding. It feels like the missing piece of the puzzle you have been searching for to it.

Resonance is not common. In fact, it can be totally random. Seeing an act of kindness, watching the news, hearing a story. Every one of them might resonate with you. And every time it does, you uncover a little bit more of yourself.

Many people experience a resonance, yet forget about it soon after. Therefore, when it does happen, record it down instantly before it fades away.

Then, spend time self-reflecting on it as soon as possible and figure out why you resonated with it. That input might lead you to uncover a part of yourself you never know or deepen your understanding of yourself.

This can also be known as output. The term create is used loosely here. Any output that needs high concentration and which needs action to be taken will help you know yourself better.

It could be writing, programming, drawing, poetry, business, singing, running. All of them will help you discover a part of yourself.

Even as I write this, I gained some small understanding in my work process and attitude towards life.

This is because when you create wholeheartedly, (or enter the flow state), that creation embodies many parts of you. Parts that you already know and some that you don’t. Either way, you will learn a lot about yourself when creating.

You might learn where your limits are and how to break them.

You might understand your creativity, where your sources of inspiration came from.

You might figure out your fears, how to overcome them.

You might learn how you react to frustration, and how you deal with it.

So go out there and do something you like. Something that you always wanted to do. Take risks, be brave. Then, finally, notice how you react to the results, how you feel when you work, and why you did it.

Instead of chasing the external sources, shouldn't we spend more time on the things that permanent? The one that will accompany us forever throughout our existence? The most important person?

Ourselves?

So, explore the world. Notice how we react and be mindful while doing so.

For just as the tree understands the need for strong roots to survive, we too, need to understand ourselves to thrive in this beautiful life.

This post evolved from a previous post of mine here

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